This post concerns one way you can give your child the opportunity to solve their own problem, while being in the close proximity that urban lives demand.
Now, part of the beauty and terror of parenting is that for the most part, there is no one way to get it right. What I will suggest is just one approach you can try.
When your child calls out for you due to a challenging activity, or looks to you to solve a quibble with a sibling or friend, you have the opportunity build your child’s sense of confidence and maturity. You can pay them the great respect of believing that they may be able to solve the problem, better than anyone.
You don’t need to do this directly. That could sound like a personal challenge. Instead, wonder with them. “Wow. That’s a tough one. What are you going to do now?”
Hear them out. Don’t just listen until you perceive their mistake, or until you understand the problem. Demonstrate you are listening by acknowledging them, and don’t stop listening until they are done telling you. Imagine waiting until the bottle is upside down and empty, and the last drop has fallen. By then, you may find that they are already generating a plan. Most importantly, they are receiving the valuable gift of your esteem because they feel that they are worth listening to, and can generate good ideas.
Michael Murray, LMHC, M.Ed 